~ Lizzieness.info ~

I need to update and clean up this site. I will do it in a few days. Yes i will. Promise.

~ Marry Me Amy gig last Saturday at the Mega Masquerade Ball in Mega Mall.
~ I hope we can have more gigs like that these coming months. Really need exposure.
~ I want more rehearsal time. It’s my stress reliever.
~ There’s something I wanted to write down but I’m having problems putting it into words. Tsk.
~ Feeling happy and sad at the same time this week. I HATE IT.
~ I’m doing a lot of thinking and feel weak right after.
~ Need to focus on WHAT I want and what I NEED to do.
~ I’m trying to built a more stronger ‘ME’. Still I hope it’s strong enough when that time comes. F*ck!
~ Years ago, I promised myself I won’t cry in case I feel down and hurt. I never did. But I never realize now that it hurts twice as much. Still I’m successful on not wasting tears on hurt and sadness.
~ In addition to that, I promised myself that I’d shed tears when I feel that true happiness inside. Hhmm, I didn’t cry on my wedding day–I wonder why.
~ I can do this. I can do this. Argh! It sucks to be me right now!

. Band’s rehearsal went well. Feel so good to play again.
. We have a new song and hopefully we can polish it so we can include it in the demo.
. BIL’s been helping us grab gigs this coming months.
. Will attend meeting tomorrow afternoon with the event organizers.
. Still need photo shoot for the band.
. Might have band rehearsal again next week for the Cosplay event gig.
. Need to think what I costume I need to wear.
. Finally finished uploading pictures on multiply.
. Still need to upload tonss of videos in youtube.
. Need to post pending blog entries. Argh.
. Need to finish online tasks, checking clamps online.
. Will attend SOS EB tomorrow night.
. Have kiddie party to go to on Sunday.
. Need to SLEEP

… Sad and Alone.

Sept. 28,2009 12:37 PM

My heart was jumping for joy when the electricity came up last night. Unfortunately, it faded when I learned that the Internet was still down. I tried to troubleshoot but failed. So to keep me company, I’ve watched 2 movies and Episode 12 S2 of True Blood. I called the technical support hot line this morning and learned that there was a problem within the base station. They advised me to check the connection within 24 hours. 24 HOURS?! You gotta be kiddin me!

To take my mind off the connection problems, I started cleaning the house, replaced the curtains, bed sheet and pillow cases. I even sorted the movies from 500G black book. I was about to move to the Music folder when I noticed that there’s still no connection. I called the technical hot line again. Same shit. Problem with the base station blah blah blah. I just need to know the ETTR. Darnit. Now I’m stuck with all those pending tasks online that I need to do before I leave for Davao on Thursday. And to make things worse, the house help had informed me that she’s going to leave soon. Great! just fucking great. She was suppose to take the day off last Saturday but she was unable to leave because of the bad weather. Now her husband was furious and convinced her to go home for good. Freakin bastard. She told me she doesn’t want to leave yet because she really need a job to pay their expenses and debt. I guess her husband was not thinking at all. Stupid.

Now I got A LOT on mind — First, I haven’t reported to work in the last 2 days because of the weather, and I’m not sure if I can tomorrow (please don’t rain); Second, no Internet connection; Third, pending tasks online that I need to do; Fourth, the house help is going to leave, just 2 two days before my Davao gig. Shit.

Sept. 27, 2009 - 2:45pm * SM Marilao Foodcourt

It was one hell of a day yesterday. I got out of the office at 6am, not knowing it has been raining all night. My mom and dad was kind enough to fetch and drop me off to the jeep terminal in Monumento so I could go home early. After the long jeepney ride, I took a short tricycle trip and them I was home. The streets were already flooded which is a sign that it rained hard the night before. Good thing, I got home safely, even though my pants were soaking wet. I got a good long sleep that afternoon because it was cold, not aware that the height of the storm was already happening. I woke up around 5pm and discovered the power was already out. I realized that the FIL and the househelp were so busy trying to keep the water out of the house. Hubby arrived 30 minutes after without his motorcycle with him. He had to leave it somewhere (friend’s house) because according to him, it was impossible to cross the road with water up to his waist. And as for me, there’s no way I could possibly go to work. I mean, I wanted to but it was impossible. I send a couple of text messages to my officemate because I don’t have a stable signal on my phone that would last a decent conversation. Great! I had to stay home with no electricity. I had problems sleeping that night because I slept the whole freaking afternoon. And again, since there’s no electricity, I had to rely on my music player to keep me company. Thank God for Ipods. I was practically awake the whole night with nothing to do. I couldnt take off the earphones because the night was still and somewhat creepy. Pitch black and eerie silence was everywhere. I tried to focus on the songs but I can’t help but glance on my phone watch. 11pm… 11:34pm… 12:05am.. 1:09am.. 2:35am… 3:03am.. 3:33am.. 4:05am.. 5:05am. The waiting is killing me. I got up at 5:15am and fixed myself a bowl of cereal. The morning was silent. Still no electricity. Dammit. I took my accoustic bass and jammed Vampire’s jive with my now low batt ipod. Great. I took a quick nap after that, had lunch and took a bath. Still no electricity. Grrr. So I gathered my things and went to the nearby mall because I know that had wifi access there. I withdraw money first and bought a Smart sim because my freakin Sum sim was dead since the night before.

Unfortunately, the people who were in charge of the wifi access were not there. So f*ckin great huh. Now I’m down with my pen and paper for now. Not connected makes me feel isolated. Hubby and the kiddo caught me staring at the paper on the table at the food court area. Argh. I was so frustrated. Hubby suggested that we have dinner and walk around the mall. Yeah, it’s his way to make me forget what’s happening. We ate at Pizza hut and then I bought things I need for my Davao trip.

Power was back after an hour when we got home. We got a total of 3 power failures before 9pm and the stable power was back - finally at 9:45pm. Unfortunately, the Internet was still down. Most likely, problem with the access provider. Oh yeah, I did’nt report to work (again) because we still had no transportation because of the flood.This weekend has been an total waste. I hope I could have my connection by tomorrow — or else!

It’s finally quiet now because it stopped raining - Thank God. I’ve been praying all day to stop raining because MMA will record the next 3 songs later and it’s really hard to carry a guitar when raining. Anyway, I’ve got so many things on mind right now and it’s beginning to frustrate me more and more. I dunno. I have a lot of work issues and I feel I need some free time. I plan to get another job with fix office hours so I could pursue some personal business on the side. I’m still planning and considering other options at this time because it’s very hard to just leave my work especially if I have a kiddo who already goes to school. Oh well. I hope MMA will push through so I won’t work my ass of like now.

~ I got all excited when the hubby agreed that we’ll go watch Transformers with my officemate after shift evening. But unfortunately, all best seats are taken! Darnit. Oh well, we still have plans on Sunday so it’s okay.

~ My officemate told me that I looked serious these past few days. I didn’t notice I was that serious for them to notice. Maybe I got A LOT of thing in mind and I’m always thinking on what to do.. oh well.

~ Purple black project is due next week and I still need a couple of items. Oh well…

~ I’m all excited to get my hands on the wedge shoes I order a month ago. Diane said, it’ll be here first or second week of July. ohhhhh….

~ I got plaids and a purple shirt last Sunday. It’s my first to own one and I’m loving it especially the purple color. I might get another purple shirt next month. Excited.

~ My sister lend me her Guess leather waist watch and everybody seems to notice it. I hope I buy my own watch just like that. Tsk.

~ Amy emailed me this link where we could buy corsets, but I think I’m going to buy not just the corset but a couple of lingerie and accessories. Online shopping is killing my budget!

~ What a week!!! Sometimes I want to shout or isolate and shut myself from everything… oh well.

Weekend passed by so quickly. It’s like time is on fast forward. I hate it. Then I was feeling down yesterday on things I cannot control. I let it the feeling pass by sleeping all morning. I felt I need to go out and that’s what I did. Spend some time in the mall but was back home couple of hours later. I focused on my online tasks because I know I needed money. But today was better. I woke up early, ran errands, and even ran for 62 minutes in the treadmill. I was feeling a little lighter today. I did some talking to myself late this afternoon and I promised that I’d focus on my next project. I call it the - Purple Black Project. It’s my self fulfillment project and it’s due by the end of the month. And yes, It’s big big secret.

I’m gonna be busy again this coming days because of work and band practice. I’m determined to loose more weight in the coming days, so help me God.

I really hate myself for not giving my sites any attention this past week. I’m so dying to write my excuses for not spending some time on the laptop, but I threw the idea away because I would just hate myself more. There are high and low moments last week but, like I said (wrote), I’m Thankful. And so start the coming week right (again).

First :: I made sure the ipod is updated with the songs I like to hear for day. I really can’t imagine myself without this little piece of gadget. Thanks to sister J.

Second :: I’m planning 1-2 weeks ahead of time. I wanted to make sure I don’t miss anything, now that I have a lot of engagements coming up. Excited about it.

Third :: Write it down. I sneaked a pad and a nice sign pen in my bag so every time an idea comes up, I’ll have something to write on. Ideas on black and white.

Fourth :: Save money. I’ve been a spending like crazy last week on food. It’s really hard to ignore the temptation especially if I have a spare money in my pocket. The shitty part was the guilt right after. I hated it. So I should double check my wallet. Bring enough for day - only. I’m a food-aholic.

Fifth :: I updated my off-line journal including my priorities. My goal is to pay off and settle them in the coming months. Hopefully sooner.

I hope I could squeeze a little more blogging time this coming week, because I can’t keep hating myself. Still thankful though. And oh! By the way… HAPPY MOTHER’s DAY TO ALL MOMS.