I’m all excited about the movies that will come out this year and this is what I’ve found…
The 50 Biggest Movies of 2009
The selection of the fifty most exciting blockbuster films for the year ahead.
50: The Pink Panther 2 (February 2009)
Moviegoers might well be tempted by the impressive cast lining up for this wholly unnecessary sequel to a completely superfluous continuation of the once mighty comedy franchise. Steve Martin, Jean Reno, John Cleese and Andy Garcia may be acting greats, but for signing up to this they should hang their heads in shame.
49: Friday the 13th (February)
Back to Camp Crystal Lake again. The twelfth (couldn’t they have made it 13?) Friday the 13th movie is apparently a remake of the first film in the venerable teen slasher series, so long-time fans will have a fair idea what to expect. Probably not the ideal date movie for February 14.
48: Red Sonja (No release date announced)
Despite months of rumour about a new Conan movie, it’s his female counterpart Red Sonja who seems to be returning to the big screen first. There’s some confusion about a release date for this film although the generally reliable IMDB has it hitting screens in late 2009. Planet Terror and Sin City director Robert Rodriguez re-teams with Grindhouse alumna Rose McGowan, who seems a somewhat unlikely choice as the Xena-type who fights her way across a sword-and-sorcery Hyborian landscape wearing as little as the censors will allow.
47: Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian (May)
A repeat of 2006’s ‘museum comes to life’ cameo jamboree with more or less everyone except Robin Williams back at the end of May to ham it up for the entertainment of young and undemanding cinemagoers. The film will need something very special in terms of advance reviews to give it any commercial visibility in what promises to be a very busy month at the movies. Ben Stiller, Amy Adams, Owen Wilson and Ricky Gervais are already crossing their fingers.
6: Fast & Furious (June)
Fourth in the franchise but (and pay attention, there will be a test) occupying the number three slot in the series narrative, the movie will take the story back to its very beginnings. Paul Walker and Vin Diesel reunite in the franchise that inspired a million minor motoring offences.
45: Spy Hunter (no release date announced)
Video game adaptations are rarely beloved of the cinema cognoscenti and there’s little likelihood that Spy Hunter will break that honourable tradition. The game is a fairly routine ‘heavily armed spy and supercar’ adventure distinguished only by a voice and motion capture contribution from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson who, one imagines, must be favourite to play the lead in what we can safely assume will be an undemanding popcorner. Englishman Paul WS Anderson, of Alien vs Predator and Resident Evil fame, is slated to direct.
44: Nine (December)
In a year packed with remakes, this is perhaps the bravest of all: taking on Fellini’s hugely influential 8½ but going just that little bit further, it’s the behind-the-scenes story of an Italian movie director featuring a stellar cast (Including Nicole Kidman, Daniel Day-Lewis, Sophia Loren, Penelope Cruz and Dame Judi Dench), some of whom will be singing. The purists will be furious, the rest of us merely sceptical. Mamma Mia it isn’t.
43: Knowing (March)
A teacher (Nicolas Cage) opens a time capsule that has been dug up at his son’s elementary school; in it are some chilling predictions — some of events that have already occurred and others that are about to — that lead him to believe his family plays a role in the events that are due to unfold.
42: Them (no release date announced)
Them, a recently announced feature to be directed by Sean of the Dead and Hot Fuzz’s Edgar Wright, is not, as far as we can tell, an update of the hoary old giant ant chiller but a fictionalised adaptation of Jon Ronson’s investigative book about the shadowy conspiracies that operate behind our notional governments. Unless it turns out that the Illuminati and the Bilderberg Group actually are all enormous ants.
41: Ninja Assassin (no release date announced)
Few star names – unless you remember Korean pop star Rain from the Wachowskis hallucinogenic Speed Racer – feature in this standard ‘assassin rebels against his masters’ tale. The title alone though promises to give Ninja Assassin that internet-friendly Snakes on a Plane appeal that should ensure a decent performance at the box office.
40: The Proposal (August)
A rom-com based on the morally rather questionable premise of a book editor (hence the title) forcing one of her subordinates to marry her so that she can gain US citizenship. Sandra Bullock is probably due another hit, and Malin Akerman still be surfing on the huge wave of excitement about Watchmen will but whether audiences will buy this rather dubious plot (remember Green Card?) remains to be seen.
39: Planet 51 (November)
A classic 1950s B-Movie plot – alien lands among the white picket fences of a fearful, simple small-town community. The twist is that the alien is an Earthly astronaut and the small town folk are little green men. A promising CG-animated caper for younger cinemagoers in the 2009 Christmas holiday.
38: The Box (March)
Set, apparently, in the Seventies, The Box is the story of a young married couple who are given a mysterious box that has uncanny, deadly powers. Somehow connecting time travel, the 1976 Viking Mars lander, teleportation and kipper ties. With former X-Man James Marsden, the always watchable Cameron Diaz and the sinister presence of Frank Langella it’s an intriguing prospect indeed.
35: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (January)
Rhona Mitra takes over from Kate Beckinsale as the female lead in the third instalment of the Vampires versus Werewolves saga. A prequel, it’s set before the birth of Beckinsale’s character, neatly sidestepping complaints about the regrettable absence of her PVC clad form. Unlikely to attract quite as many cinemagoers as its predecessor, it might still fill a dull winter’s evening.
36: Creature from the Black Lagoon (no release date announced)
Little is known so far of this planned remake of the classic 1954 creature feature which is to be helmed by Sahara director Breck Eisner. Bill Paxton is rumoured to be leading the team, which discovers a hitherto undocumented amphibious humanoid in the depths of the South American jungle. In keeping with the current remake mania, Eisners next project is expected to be a new version of Flash Gordon.
35: G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (August)
G.I Joe is a bigger name in the US: the toy line that we called Action Man gave rise to a popular 1980s cartoon series and long-running comics franchise. Without the solid bed of nostalgia that will give it a running start in its homeland, the movie’s appeal over here stands or falls on its star director – Stephen Sommers from the enjoyably silly Mummy films - and stellar cast, including Christopher Eccleston and Sienna Miller as well as Sommers’s old Mummy pals Brendan Fraser and Arnold Vosloo. If August 2009 is as much of a washout as 2008’s, summer legions of staycationers will be flocking to cinemas looking for some easygoing escapism, and this might just be it.
34: Fanboys (February)
The long-delayed comedy which sees a group of rabid Star Wars fanatics attempting to steal an early print of The Phantom Menace for their dying pal finally gets a release early in 2009. A version of the movie with the cancer-stricken fan removed nearly made it to cinemas in 2008 but was met with a vast internet campaign that demonstrated the awesome power of the fanboy. We’re assured that the movie will finally be released in early 2009.
33: Inkheart (January)
Brendan Fraser, fast becoming Hollywood’s go-to guy whenever kiddie-friendly action is required, joins with Andy Serkis, the man behind Gollum and King Kong, in this umpteenth attempt at the now-traditional ‘storybook miraculously comes to life’ plot. A little early for the half term crowd, but Fraser’s undeniable charm should bring in a few viewers.
32: The Surrogates (December)
A promisingly thoughtful sci-fi concept. Humanity is housebound and relies on remote-controlled drones to handle all the outdoors work. Bruce Willis stars as a futuristic detective investigating the apparent murder of these ‘surrogates’alongside former Bond Girl Rosamund Pike and charismatic bruiser Ving Rhames.
31: The International (February)
What could be more timely than a drama about the international banking system? Clearly, the producers didn’t appreciate the serendipity because it was delayed while additional, more action-packed, scenes were added. Will the world be tired of hearing about bankers by February? Naomi Watts and the thinking woman’s action man Clive Owen rather hope not.
30: The Wolf Man (April)
We’ve had modern takes on Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster and The Mummy, so it was only a matter of time before The Wolfman was disinterred for another howl around the moors. More important than star Benicio Del Toro will be the inclusion of everybody’s favorite wolfman, makeup supremo Rick Baker who provided the eye-popping transformations in American Werewolf in London and The Howling. Anthony Hopkins turns up as the unfortunate lycanthrope’s father. Art Malik and Hugo Weaving will also be along for what promises to be a dark and disturbing ride.
29: The Spirit (January)
Will Eisner was one of the first comics writers to achieve personal fame and his best known creation, The Spirit, is considered by aficionados to be one of the great heroes of comics’ Golden Age. It’s surprising that we’ve had to wait this long to see the lighthearted Noir detective on the big screen. The director who has brought The Spirit to life is Frank Miller, himself a star comics writer (he wrote 300 and completely reinvigorated the industry in the 1980s with his Dark Knight Batman miniseries). Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson and Eva Mendes the movie is shot in the same stylised hyper-realistic way that characterized Miller’s previous movie, Sin City. The Spirit is unlikely to break out of the fanboy demographic, but should provide undemanding comic book thrills in the long, cold weeks before Watchmen appears.
28: A Perfect Getaway (March)
A complex twisty-turny chase thriller filmed in Puerto Rico but set in Hawaii and starring Milla Jovovich and, in a rare lead role, Hitman star Timothy Olyphant. Ideal for movie fans who like to be kept guessing until the final scene, it’s about a honeymooning couple pursued across the picturesque island by a pair of relentless killers. Expect the unexpected.
27: The Birds (no release date announced)
Few details are available about this re-make of Hitchcock’s strangest movie. Naomi Watts is reputedly playing Melanie Daniels, the mischievous socialite portrayed byTippi Hedren in the 1963 film, and there’s talk of George Clooney for the role of Mitch Brenner, the smoothly irresistible lawyer who draws her to the doomed township of Bodega Bay.
26: S. Darko (no release date announced)
An unexpected sequel to 2001’s hallucinatory time loop brain-teaser Donnie Darko, which already has fans of the original film near-apoplectic at its superfluity. Curiosity value alone guarantees S. Darko a strong opening weekend. Word of mouth will determine whether it can survive in theatres for more than a week, but it could equally become a cult smash.
25: Hannah Montana (May)
Dolly Parton, Tyra Banks, Heather Locklear and of course Billy Ray Cyrus help Destiny ‘Miley’ Cyrus bring the massively popular tween pop character comes to the big screen. In the wake of the vast box office for High School Musical 3, Hannah Montana looks like a safe bet for the big cinema smash of the Easter school break.
24: Dorian Gray (November)
The classic Oscar Wilde fable retold by an impressive collection of British thespian eye-candy including Colin Firth and Emilia Fox. Ben Barnes, little known outside the Narnia cognoscenti or the few remaining fans of doomed boyband Hyrise, plays the dissipated fop with the magical portrait.
23: Sherlock Holmes (November)
Some extraordinary casting distinguishes the umpteenth Holmes movie with Robert Downey Jr. as a tough, sword-flourishing Holmes and Jude Law as an even tougher, no-nonsense Watson in Guy Ritchie’s ‘reimagining’ of the ultimate sleuth. Based on Lionel Wigram’s comic book about the consulting detective rather than directly upon Conan Doyle’s books, the film also features Rachel McAdams as Irene Adler, the captivating femme fatale introduced in an 1891 Holmes story A Scandal in Bohemia.
2: Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (July)
Playing fast and loose with the accepted chronology of the age of the dinosaurs this third instalment of the CGI school holiday favourite has the primitive mammal heroes of the first two films somehow getting mixed up with a ‘lost world’ of surviving dinosaurs trapped beneath a glacier. John Leguizamo, Queen Latifah, and Denis Leary provide voices for the computer created critters. Certain to both entertain undemanding under-fives and infuriate palaeontologists in equal measure, this has the air of being the last film in the series.
21: Nottingham (November)
Russell Crowe plays dual roles in this revision of the Robin Hood legend. If you can trust anyone, it’s a bona fide cinema genius like director Ridley Scott but Hood and Nottingham with the same face sounds like a recipe for chuckles rather than thrills.
20: Bride Wars (January)
Bride Wars is evidence that blockbuster movies aren’t always for the boys. With a near-unbeatable chick flick cast (Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, Candice Bergen), it’s an implausible tale of best friends clashing over a wedding day scheduling conflict. With the release date close enough to Valentine’s Day to warrant inclusion on the schedule of a fair percentage of early February dinner dates, it stands a reasonable chance of a strong mid-table performance on the box-office charts for the year.
19: 2012 (July)
Master of disaster Roland Emmerich (The Day after Tomorrow, Godzilla, Independence Day) assembles an impressive cast including John Cusack, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson and Danny Glover for an apocalyptic epic based on a 7th Century Mayan prophecy. Never one to do things by halves, Emmerich will apparently open the film with the end of the world as we know it and let things escalate from there.
18: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (January)
Brad Pitt leads the cast of this fable taken from an F.Scott Fitzgerald story about a man who is born in his seventies and ages in reverse. Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton feature in a story that spans a lifetime.
17: The Lovely Bones (March)
Saoirse Ronan narrates from beyond the grave in this brave adaptation of Alice Sebold’s practically unfilmable novel. A fine cast (not only Rachel Weisz and Susan Sarandon but also Stanley Tucci, former Soprano and now Life on Mars star Michael Imperioli and winner of the ‘most unpredictable career choices’ award Mark Wahlberg) added to Lord of the Rings (and more importantly Heavenly Creatures) director Peter Jackson’s formidable talent promise a thoughtful, thought-provoking gem.
16: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (no release date announced)
A Terry Gilliam film is always something of a curiosity: ploughing his own off-kilter furrow away from the calcified strictures of Hollywood cliché, he has made films that, while differing wildly in subject matter (Brazil, The Fisher King, Baron Munchausen), share a distinctively baroque surrealism. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is a curiosity even among Gilliam films, containing as it does the final performance of Heath Ledger. Because Ledger did not survive to complete the movie, Gilliam has enlisted Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law to share the lead role with the departed star. Adding an extra surreal twist to the Faustian fantasy, this is sure to be one of the most talked-about films of 2009.
15: Coraline (May)
Cult author Neil Gaiman’s dark fairytale gets a faithful adaptation which will entrance anyone who enjoyed Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas or, indeed, anyone who has ever escaped through a secret door in their bedroom that leads to a mysterious parallel version of their own home.
14: They Came from Upstairs (July)
Ashley Tisdale, the delightfully pushy blonde Sharpay from High School Musical, leads a group of teens fighting an alien invasion in this light-hearted family adventure. Closer to Gremlins or Critters than War of the Worlds, They Came from Upstairs will be one of those guilty movie gems films you might take a young relative along to, but secretly quite enjoy.
13: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (June)
The inevitable sequel to last year’s surprise hit features more action, more laughs, and more shape-shifting robots. Michael Bay and Shia LeBoef return as director and star respectively with the astoundingly attractive Megan Fox as Shia’s love interest, a more international battleground and the eagerly anticipated introduction of fan favourite Soundwave.
12: The Taking of Pelham 123 (August)
If there’s a unifying trend to 2009 it’s the classic remake, and The Taking of Pelham 123 is nothing if not a classic. A major influence on new genre filmmakers like Quentin Tarantino (note the colour-coded names for the main characters) the 1970s original doesn’t seem in much need of an update. Nevertheless director Tony Scott, who’s been a little quiet for the last few years, has recruited old pal Denzel Washington as well as John Travolta and James Gandolfini to revisit the brilliantly improbable tube train hijack caper. Purists who are wincing at the thought should probably know now that Scott plans to start work on a retread of The Warriors next.
11: The Informant (September)
Matt Damon and Scott Bakula star in Steven Soderbergh’s promising black comedy based on a true story about the ostensibly dull world of agribusiness price fixing. If you enjoyed The Insider and would like to see much the same film again, but this time laced with some mordant humour and featuring a bipolar hero, this might be just the movie for you.
10: Inglourious Basterds (June)
Quentin Tarantino returns with an eclectic cast (Brad Pitt, Mike Myers and star of Hitcock’s The Birds Rod Taylor) and another one of his playful reinventions of 1970s genre cinema. This time he moves from the American underworld to World War 2, with a team of Jewish-American special forces operating behind German lines, terminating Nazi commanders with extreme prejudice. Anyone who likes Tarantino, war movies in the vein of The Dirty Dozen or Nazis getting their comeuppance will undoubtedly love this movie. Fans of correct spelling may be less thrilled. IGN podcast
9: Terminator Salvation (June)
The long-awaited ‘future war’ segment of the Terminator saga, previously only hinted at in the first three movies, dominates proceedings in Charlie’s Angels director McG’s bold reawakening of the killer robot franchise. Christian Bale, fresh from his spectacular triumph as one fanboy hero in Dark Knight essays another - John Connor, charismatic leader of the anti-Skynet forces who the Terminators have been trying to eliminate for the last three films. Roland Kickinger will be the principal Terminator this because Arnold Schwarzenegger is said to be too busy running California to appear as the iconic cyborg killing machine and Anton Yelchin, Sam Worthington and Helena Bonham-Carter are along for the ride.
8: Monsters vs. Aliens (April)
A CGI mock-B-movie with a distinctly eclectic cast list - Kiefer Sutherland, Hugh Laurie, and Stephen Colbert lend their voices., Monsters v Aliens will go some of the way towards sating the enormous demand for a second Incredibles movie. Reese Witherspoon provides the voice of a young Californian woman who grows to gigantic size, after a freak meteorite encounter, and is recruited into a secret agency of super-freaks who are sent to battle a gigantic alien robot.
7: Avatar (December)
James Cameron’s long-awaited high-technology blockbuster shares some basic ideas with The Surrogates (Humans use humanoid remote drones, in this case to explore an alien planet) and some with Planet 51 (we are the invaders). In terms of technological ambition and cinematic reach though, this movie should be without equal. Sigourney Weaver, who combined so well for Cameron in the past reunites with her Aliens director As long as Cameron doesn’t allow the story to become too cerebral for mainstream audiences Avatar stands a fair chance of being the biggest movie of the year.
6: Angels & Demons (May)
In the wake of the Da Vinci Code, another recklessly improbable Dan Brown adventure gets the Tom Hanks treatment. Ewan McGregor comes on board this time for a breakneck chase around Vatican City in search of some antimatter, the Illuminati and a decent haircut. The critics will snigger, and Dan Brown fans (of whom there are many) will ignore them and make May one of the busiest months at the box office.
5: X-Men Origins: Wolverine (May)
Hugh Jackman’s back for an X-Men prequel set 17 years before the action of the first movie.The film traces the early career of Logan, the indestructible mutant who will one day be X-Man Wolverine. Cameos from future X-Men and the chance to see how Logan acquired his deadly claws and curious hairdo give the film a geek power that will set the internet buzzing ahead of the premiere. It will be interesting to see how this performs after the third X-Men movie was seen by many to be something of a mis-step in the X-franchise.
4: Watchmen (March)
Alan Moore’s superlative comic book finally, against the author’s will, reaches the big screen. There’s little doubt for anyone who’s read the original comic that this movie will be a huge triumph. We know the ending has been amended but every scene that’s been seen so far is slavishly faithful to Dave Gibbons’s original drawings, with just a few costume tweaks to make Nite Owl look a little less ridiculous and Silk Spectre a little bit sexier. How Watchmen will play to audiences who haven’t already been seduced by Moore’s vision of a parallel universe Cold War showdown between the members of a disbanded hero team remains to be seen. You can be sure, however, that every comic geek in the western world will see this film, and either rave about it or rail against it on the internet for evermore.
3: Star Trek (May)
J.J. Abrams attempts to reinvigorate the slightly tired Star Trek franchise with a story set immediately before the action of the first TV series. Winona Ryder looks set for a return to the big leagues as Amanda Grayson – Spock’s mum. British geek god Simon Pegg turns up as Scotty, and Zachary Quinto the dark presence at the heart of TV’s Heroes certainly looks the part as a young Spock. Expect tricksy time travel shenanigans, freak transporter accidents and a clever, ubiquitous and ultimately slightly annoying viral marketing campaign.
2: Public Enemies (July)
Creator of Miami Vice Michael Mann guides the apparently tireless Christian Bale (who appears to be in every movie of any note these days) and Johnny Depp in a period gangster romp about the FBI’s search for John Dillinger, Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd that is perfectly timed to chime with the new Great Depression.
1: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (July)
Harry Potter fans will already have a fairly good idea of what happens in this, the sixth film in the hugely popular boy wizard film adapted from JK Rowling’s all-conquering books. It was an early script draft of this film that prompted Rowling to ‘out’ Dumbledore while promoting the final Potter book.
